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If your social feeds are anything like mine, they’re probably flooded with an endless parade of dating terms that make you question if romance has become more about taxonomy than actual connection.
Sigh. 😒
Just when we thought we’d mastered the art of spotting ghosters, floodlighters, breadcrumbers, and situationships, along comes “throning”—a dating phenomenon that might have you checking your relationship motivations.
What Is ‘Throning’?
Throning—as aptly dramatic as it sounds—refers to dating someone primarily for the social status boost they provide.
Think of it as placing your partner on a metaphorical throne, less for their winning personality or how they make your heart skip, and more for how their Instagram following makes your social currency skyrocket.
“Throning is dating someone who, via association, increases your reputation and ego,” explains relationship specialist Siddharrth S. Kumaar (via Hindustan Times).
“The motivation behind throning often stems from a desire for social validation, access to exclusive social circles, a boost in self-esteem, and increased social media influence,” adds Delhi-based relationship expert Kalpana Singh.
The practice isn’t exactly groundbreaking—we’ve seen variations of this behaviour throughout history, from strategic royal marriages to Hollywood power couples. What’s new is how social media has supercharged our ability to showcase these status-boosting connections, turning private relationships into public brand alignments..
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Are You Throning? The Tell-Tale Signs
Before you rush to declare your relationship throne-free, it’s worth examining if any of these signs feel uncomfortably familiar:
- You’re more excited to post about your date than to actually be on it
- You find yourself name-dropping your partner in conversations where it’s not relevant
- The thought of introducing them to certain friends makes you giddy (but not for the reasons you might think)
- You’ve ever thought, “This will look amazing on my feed” during what should be an intimate moment
- Your attraction mysteriously intensified after discovering their follower count or professional status
Recognising yourself? Don’t spiral—we’re all susceptible to social validation urges in this digital landscape.
The Psychology Behind the Throne
Our current cultural moment has created the perfect storm for throning behaviour.
We’re simultaneously more connected yet more isolated than ever, creating a hunger for validation that can manifest in our romantic choices.
A past study published in Science Advances found that dating app users typically attempt to match with people about “25% more desirable than themselves,” suggesting we’re naturally drawn to status-boosting connections.
But as Stacy Thomson, founder of matchmaking app Reddi, told Indy100: “While it may give temporary confidence or entry into a particular circle, a relationship based primarily on social status often lacks both the depth and stability that come from shared values and emotional intimacy.”
How To Break The Royal Cycle Of Throning
If you’ve caught yourself in a throning pattern (or dating someone who’s throning you), all is not lost. Awareness is the first step toward changing any behaviour pattern.
Start by asking yourself: “Would I still want to be with this person if nobody else knew we were together?”
Other reality checks that help:
- Take a social media break from posting about your relationship
- Make a list of qualities you genuinely value in your partner—unrelated to status
- Notice if you feel disappointed when you can’t showcase your relationship
- Consider how much of your attraction is tied to how others perceive your partner
What Dating Should Really Be About
True romantic fulfillment rarely comes from followers, clout, or strategic social positioning.
The relationships that stand the test of time are built on far less Instagrammable foundations: emotional intimacy, shared values, mutual respect, and that intangible magic of genuinely enjoying each other’s company.
“Ultimately, real fulfillment in relationships tends to come from authenticity and mutual respect,” Thomson notes. Not from social status, not from follower counts, but from genuinely valuing what you’ve found in one another.
In a world obsessed with curating perfection, there’s something revolutionary about choosing authenticity instead.
So, maybe the next time you swipe right, ask yourself if you’re looking for a crown—or an actual connection!
